If your legacy is a reflection of your life, what would your reflection show?

I'm not perfect, proud, or always positive. I think, like everyone else, I will be thought of for the good, bad, and the ugly. I would hope that those left behind saw that I'm the girl that got the American Dream. An amazing husband, 4 kids, a fortunate existence. A little bit city, a little bit country. Loves her music and her country and isn't afraid of her religion or letting others know who her God is. A little shy but not a meek and quiet spirit by any stretch of the imagination! As a matter of fact, maybe a bit mouthy...OK A LOT mouthy.

Possibly as a girl that had a world far more colorful than her vocabulary. Hurt more than helped at times and helped when it was needed not just when it was convenient. Made more good decisions than bad ones.

Laughed when she wanted to cry and Cried when she couldn't laugh. was there to hold a friend's hand or more importantly their hearts. Listened and really heard what was being spoken.
Genuinely missed the people who left her life yet, carried on with the importance of who they were and what they taught her.

A woman that learned from her own mother's life so that she could be open enough to teach her daughter's through her own life. Honored the mother that began her story not so much by being just like her but because she became an individual and not a clone of anyone.

Maybe saw that it wasn't weakness to show emotion, instead it was a strength that allowed you to fall apart in what were days of trials, and exude joy in times of triumph
A woman who learned that everyone sees strength and weakness in a different way, and it's OK.

Sometimes as a woman who fell in line with other's but, could also march to the beat of a different drum...better than that, created her own beat even if no one else heard it.
Became the woman God created her to be.
...and maybe, just maybe, left a mark on this world...leaving it better the day she left than the day she entered it.

As Time Goes By

Sometimes I am often bewildered by myself. How is it that I have left almost 2 months go by since I have put thoughts into words and blogged? I'll tell you...I am busy living, doing, loving, laughing, wishing, waiting, giving, getting, laughing, crying, relaxing, parenting....that one is the toughest gig ever!...watching, learning, teaching, driving, thinking, speaking, praying, begging, reconnecting, disconnecting, and most of all worshipping.

What a busy time this has been! Exciting things are happening. I drove to Florida and got to see my sister Angela, my BIL Ross, and their two kids, then drove to South Florida to see my sister JoAnn, her girls, and Steve. We had a time, not bad, just busy. I finally got the remains of my mom, that had been awaiting me...More importantly, this was the first time my sister's amd I had been together since October 27, 2007. The last time we were together was in the hospital visiting our mom. I flew home that day not knowing that, that would be the last time my mom would ever see her 3 girls in the same room together again...It was how it should be, even if that wasn't how we thought it should be.

We had a girls night out, we took pictures, we even went to have manicures and pedicures done with a gift certificate that was about 4-5 years old. It was for a Mother's Day gift and my mom never used it and the company honored it after we told them where the GC came from. I think my mom would be glad that we had a great time getting our fingers and toes pampered!
We went to the Contour Day Spa inside the Seminole Hard Rock Casino. That was a first for me. It wasn't built when we left Florida 7 years ago.

Oh yeah! that's another thing, we passed the 7 year mark for moving here to TN.

I drove straight through on the way home and man was I tired! A few days later we drove with some of the youth group from Church for a VBS training retreat. We went to the most outrageously beautiful cabin ever! It was like walking into a magazine layout.

When we returned from there we were once again supposed to hit the road. This time to Easly, South Carolina, to help build a church along with our Mission Team. It would have been a couple of hours away from where I was born. I had planned on leaving a day early so that I could see Charleston. Ahhh but alas, other plans were on the horizon. We didn't have to go very far to serve God. We continued working on a church in Lavergne, TN just 15 minutes down the road.
To see a little more go to http://www.buildersonmissions.blogspot.com/

Well that sort of wraps of the last 4 weeks of stuff...I can't recall anything prior to that. :)
Pictures to come soon

Thoughts To Jot

I can't believe how long it has been since I have had anything I wanted to blog about and put in writing. Sometimes you can be eager to spill those thoughts and emotions and, other times you want to hold it in and not say anything for whatever reason you have that you feel it needs to be pushed down and kept safe inside yourself. What intense feelings on both sides of that war, a war within.

Now that Facebook is around it seems blogging is so much less important than it once was.
Friends and family reconnect instantly. People don't really need to keep up with blogs when you can log on to Facebook and in your little space of the cyber world tell everyone where you're going, what you're doing, how you're feeling, and what points you're about to ponder. It is highly addictive and terribly fun.

Good things have come from it....Anyone who logged on over the weekend knew my uncle and aunt were in a awful motorcycle accident. People who wouldn't know them otherwise said prayers simply because the connection of one person. It really has become a phenomenal feeling. People from all over the world praying for me and them, it is ultra-humbling...ya know.

I wish I could say my uncle is doing as well as I hoped but,it is all in God's hands and timing. There are so many unanswered questions. Is he going to be OK...I mean really Ok, back to the uncle that I know? Back to the husband that he is to his wife? How will this change the rest of us who love him...them?

There is a reason that a family goes on journey's such as these. Sometimes we need to be sensitive to what God is trying to tell us. I get the big picture, I really do....life is fleeting and more precious than we allow ourselves to realize. What makes us believe we are immune to bad things touching our inner circle of life? Bad things happen to everyone!

Can this turn into something good? Can God soften even the hardest of hearts? Of course He can! Is that the purpose of this trial...Will it go on until each one of us touched by this opens our eyes and sees exactly what we are supposed to be to each other....I don't doubt God, I have seen way tooooo many miracles, and been a part of some, to second guess Him. It's the hardened hearts that I question.

...and now I am off to finish cooking dinner and ponder the points that filled my mind

Tired

I'm tired....tired of the saga, tired of the drama, tired of the whole nine yards. Seriously, what the heck happened to these assembly of people we have loved and called family.
Why do we deal with these trials that test the ties that bind. Some bonds have gotten stronger and some have just unraveled. Then there are those who just cut that tie, and pretend that it was never there. Sad but very true.

I'm not running out of things to say, just running out of energy to do so....

Harvesting

George, G3, and Matthew...Freezing -Getting ready to go and try kill something.
The word kill will be referred to as harvest from here after in this short post.

Here is Matthew and his first doe. He decided to give her a name. Luna really must have been pretty alive..that is, before my child harvested her.He called me and maybe for 10 seconds spoke to me telling me he shot a doe and then handed the phone to Terry, who so softly said "your son is a killer" :) He knows how bad I didn't want them to go hunting let alone harvest anything!

Matthew once wanted to be a Vet and wanted to shoot something just to nurse it back to health, that really isn't the way it happens. He is so compassionate, I mean at 3 he cried when Dorothy was saying goodbye to the scarecrow...When He arrived home. I asked him when he shot her did he feel like he was going to cry, and he said I thought I was gonna cry because I was so darn excited.....What!!!! what happened to the little 3 year old?

This is a photo of Matthew and Terry, with Luna. Terry was nice enough to position "Luna" so that she would be a little more photogenic. Personally, photogenic would be to shoot her with a camera and let her live. As I am looking at this picture, I think I just realized that Terry is holding what looks like a knife.....which if your a hunter, the next step of harvesting is field dressing, which I can't even begin to wrap my head around. Thankfully there are no photos of that.